This is the most isolated I've felt in a long time. Physically and mentally. No one seems to know what to say or how to help me. Some don't even say anything now. I thought when I was younger that this was the worst the loneliness could ever be. I was wrong. I finally feel like I am completely on my own and that no one can save me.
In a way, I should be glad because I'm finally waking up and making progress. I just despise how volatile I feel. Add the isolation on top and it makes it worse.
Nothing in my life is beautiful now, but I'm trying to remember that life can be beautiful, even when it's all bad. I still feel humiliated and angry and jealous for missing out on everything I hoped I would have done by now, but I still know there's more to life than perpetual stagnation. That's what keeps me going.